my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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