Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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