covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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