I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
do herpes really smell.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize