like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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