we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
