Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
