Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
