it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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