I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
