Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
