I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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