I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
