Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
