Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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