dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize