I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
