my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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