i'm signing you up for texting rehab
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
