And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
