About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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