I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize