What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
