well most of my day revolves around power hour
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
