I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
