Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
