Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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