be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
