Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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