it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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