Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
