I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
