What a fucking waste of an outfit
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We talked him into tasing himself.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize