Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize