My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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