ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
