I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
