White coat. Heels.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
