Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
