I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
