HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
