I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
