porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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