ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
