They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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