Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
