She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
