remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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