I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
