And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
