what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
