just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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