it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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