real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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