NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
