she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
