The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
