she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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