careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
