shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize