How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
