I seem to have left my pride at pride
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
