grandma shit on top of the toilet
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
