Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
