Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
