He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
