Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
