I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
