he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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