alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
